I don’t know weather to look at it as loosing or gaining, is the glass half empty or full? This weekend my family, friends, and people we don’t even know attended my brothers wedding to both a girl and family I was not all together elated about. I find the bride’s parents annoying and at times rude and the bride over controlling, loud, and obnoxious. I didn’t know how to feel about the binding of these two families, and could feel my strands on the seem of my emotions stretching, ready to tear.
Growing up, my brother Brian and I were extremely close. I would be perfectly content just sitting on the couch with him all Saturday watching football games, even though I’ve never been that into the sport. The only thing that mattered was that I was spending the day with the person who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry. Brian always had that sort of chemistry with people, happiness always seemed to be bursting out of his ears, and like a highly contagious disease, spread it to whoever was in his reach. He was my idle, my teddy bear, my big brother, my best friend. If I fell asleep on the couch at watching TV at night, he would carry me upstairs and put me in my bed. When I joined a basketball team for the first time, he would help me with my free throws, and defense, even though he was three times my size. When my other brother tore the head of off my WNBA Barbie, Brian would put it back on, and glue the neck just in case. When I wanted to learn how to dive, he was my coach. Sometimes I would even tag along on the dates he went on with his multiple high school girlfriends. I didn’t think about how the various girls would accept me, and I didn’t care. I remember being six years old and secretly hoping that his seventeen year old friends would be jealous of me because of the all answers I knew, to all the questions they asked. But Brian got older, and so did I. He went off to college, and I got friends of my own. And then he brought her home.
I didn’t mind her at first. However, slowly but surely, she showed her true colors that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt. At first my whole family was taken aback, but grungely got over that fact, and moved on knowing that my brother loved this girl, and we were all going to do what ever it took to support him. After a while, I started noticing a pattern, my brother was still the same loving, funny, guy he always had been…until they were together. It seemed that she had rubbed her personality on to him, and after a while, you could see the significant new characteristics that he had attained while in this relationship. Suddenly, he would get agitated with me if I asked him too many questions, and he didn't want me hanging around him every time he was near. He started having a cynical edge to him that we were all very well aware of, but didn't know how to react to the change because it was so very abnormal, and out of character. Even through all of this, and after seeing Jenni’s entire somewhat annoying demeanor, and changing the person who my brother was, I didn’t hate her. Sure it annoyed and pissed the hell out of me, but it was something that I couldn’t change, and wasn’t even worth trying to do so. They were both in love, and being together was the only thing that mattered in their eyes. After all it wasn’t like either of them went out of their way to be rude or imprudent, it was simply who they were now. And of course I didn’t hate my brother, not at all. I just hated who Brian was when he was with Jenni.
As I sat there at the wedding Saturday, watching my brother and his new bride have their first dance, I realized many things in one instant. One: My brother has grown up, and who am I to try to keep him from being with the one person that makes him most happy in life. Two: My brother is a completely different person than he was more than eight years ago. And even though I miss those Saturdays watching football games, playing basketball for hours on end, and him making me laugh so hard I cried, those personal changes he made are permanent, and irreversible. And finally three: as I watched my brother twirl the women in white around and around, and beaming with all the love in his body, I realized, I had no clue what he was thinking, hoping, dreaming. I had no clue who he was any more.
I used to.
I miss that.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
WA 1 Draft 2
I don’t know weather to look at it as loosing or gaining, is the glass half empty or full? This weekend my family, friends, and people we don’t even know attended my brothers wedding to both a girl and family I was not all together elated about. I find the bride’s parents annoying, and at times rude and the bride over controlling, loud, and obnoxious. I didn’t know how to feel about the binding of these two families, and could feel my strands on the seems of my emotions stretching, ready to tear.
Growing up, my brother and I were extremely close. I would be perfectly content just sitting on the couch with him all Saturday watching football games, even though I’ve never been that into the sport, the thing that mattered was that I was spending the day with the person who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry. Brian always had that sort of chemistry with people, happiness always seemed to be bursting out of his ears, and like a highly contagious disease, spread it to whoever was in his reach. He was my idle, my teddy bear, my big brother, my best friend. If I fell asleep on the couch at watching tv at night, he would carry me upstairs and put me in my bed. When I joined a basketball team, he would help me with my free throws, and defense, even though he was three times my size. When my other brother tore the head of off my WNBA Barbie, Brian would put it back on, and glue the neck just in case. When I wanted to learn how to dive, he was my coach. Sometimes I would even tag along on the dates he went on with his multiple high school girlfriends. I didn’t think about how the various girls would accept me, and I didn’t care. I remember being six years old and secretly hoping that his seventeen year old friends would be jealous of me because of the answers I knew, to all the questions they asked. But Brian got older, and so did I. He went off to college, and I got friends of my own. And then he brought her home.
I didn’t mind her at first. However, slowly but surely, she showed her true colors that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt. At first my whole family was taken aback, but grungely got over that fact, and moved on knowing that my brother loved this girl, and we were all going to do what ever it took to support him. After a while, I started noticing a pattern, my brother was still the same loving, funny, guy he always had been…until they were together. It seemed that she had rubbed her personality on to himself, and after a while, you could see the significant new characteristics that he had attained while in this relationship. Suddenly, he would get agitated with me if I asked him too many questions, and he didn't want me hanging around him every time he was near. He started having a cynical edge to him that we were all very well aware of, but didn't know how to react to the change because it was so very abnormal, and out of character. Even through all of this, and after seeing all of Jenni’s somewhat annoying demeanor, and changing the person who my brother was, I didn’t hate her. Sure it annoyed and pissed the hell out of me, but it was something that I couldn’t change, and wasn’t even worth trying to do so. They were both in love, and being together was the only thing that mattered in their eyes. After all it wasn’t like either of them went out of their way to be rude or imprudent, it was who they were now. And of course I didn’t hate my brother, not at all. I just hated who Brian was when he was with Jenni.
As I sat there at the wedding Saturday, watching my brother and his new bride have their first dance, I realized many things in one instant. One: My brother has grown up, and who am I to try to keep him from being with the one person that makes him most happy in life. Two: My brother is a completely different person than he was more than eight years ago. And even though I miss those Saturdays watching football games, playing basketball for hours on end, and him making me laugh so hard I cried, those personal changes he made are permanent, and irreversible. And finally three: as I watched my brother twirl the women in white around and around, and beaming with all the love in his body, I realized, I had no clue what he was thinking, hoping, dreaming. I had no clue who he was any more.
I used to.
I miss that
Growing up, my brother and I were extremely close. I would be perfectly content just sitting on the couch with him all Saturday watching football games, even though I’ve never been that into the sport, the thing that mattered was that I was spending the day with the person who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry. Brian always had that sort of chemistry with people, happiness always seemed to be bursting out of his ears, and like a highly contagious disease, spread it to whoever was in his reach. He was my idle, my teddy bear, my big brother, my best friend. If I fell asleep on the couch at watching tv at night, he would carry me upstairs and put me in my bed. When I joined a basketball team, he would help me with my free throws, and defense, even though he was three times my size. When my other brother tore the head of off my WNBA Barbie, Brian would put it back on, and glue the neck just in case. When I wanted to learn how to dive, he was my coach. Sometimes I would even tag along on the dates he went on with his multiple high school girlfriends. I didn’t think about how the various girls would accept me, and I didn’t care. I remember being six years old and secretly hoping that his seventeen year old friends would be jealous of me because of the answers I knew, to all the questions they asked. But Brian got older, and so did I. He went off to college, and I got friends of my own. And then he brought her home.
I didn’t mind her at first. However, slowly but surely, she showed her true colors that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt. At first my whole family was taken aback, but grungely got over that fact, and moved on knowing that my brother loved this girl, and we were all going to do what ever it took to support him. After a while, I started noticing a pattern, my brother was still the same loving, funny, guy he always had been…until they were together. It seemed that she had rubbed her personality on to himself, and after a while, you could see the significant new characteristics that he had attained while in this relationship. Suddenly, he would get agitated with me if I asked him too many questions, and he didn't want me hanging around him every time he was near. He started having a cynical edge to him that we were all very well aware of, but didn't know how to react to the change because it was so very abnormal, and out of character. Even through all of this, and after seeing all of Jenni’s somewhat annoying demeanor, and changing the person who my brother was, I didn’t hate her. Sure it annoyed and pissed the hell out of me, but it was something that I couldn’t change, and wasn’t even worth trying to do so. They were both in love, and being together was the only thing that mattered in their eyes. After all it wasn’t like either of them went out of their way to be rude or imprudent, it was who they were now. And of course I didn’t hate my brother, not at all. I just hated who Brian was when he was with Jenni.
As I sat there at the wedding Saturday, watching my brother and his new bride have their first dance, I realized many things in one instant. One: My brother has grown up, and who am I to try to keep him from being with the one person that makes him most happy in life. Two: My brother is a completely different person than he was more than eight years ago. And even though I miss those Saturdays watching football games, playing basketball for hours on end, and him making me laugh so hard I cried, those personal changes he made are permanent, and irreversible. And finally three: as I watched my brother twirl the women in white around and around, and beaming with all the love in his body, I realized, I had no clue what he was thinking, hoping, dreaming. I had no clue who he was any more.
I used to.
I miss that
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Lack there of 9/14/08
I don’t know weather to look at it as loosing or gaining, is the glass half empty or full? This weekend my family, friends, and people we don’t even know attended my brothers wedding to both a girl and family I was not all together elated about. I find the bride’s parents annoying, and at times rude and the bride over controlling, loud, and obnoxious. I didn’t know how to feel about the binding of these two families, and could feel my strands on the seems of my emotions stretching, ready to tear.
Growing up, my brother and I were extremely close. I would be perfectly content just sitting on the couch with him all Saturday watching football games, even though I’ve never been that into the sport, the thing that mattered was that I was spending the day with the person who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry. Brian always had that sort of reaction on people, happiness always seemed to be bursting out of his ears, and like a highly contagious disease, spread it to whoever was in his reach. He was my idle, my teddy bear, my big brother, my best friend. If I fell asleep on the couch at watching tv at night, he would carry me upstairs and put me in my bed. When I joined a basketball team, he would help me with my free throws, and defense, even though he was three times my size. When my other brother tore the head of off my WNBA Barbie, Brian would put it back on, and glue the neck just in case. When I wanted to learn how to dive, he was my coach. Sometimes I would even tag along on the dates he went on with his multiple high school girlfriends. I didn’t think about how the various girls would accept me, and I didn’t care. I remember being six years old and secretly hoping that his seventeen year old friends would be jealous of me because of the answers I knew, to all the questions they asked. But Brian got older, and so did I. He went off to college, and I got friends of my own. And then he brought her home.
I didn’t mind her at first. However, slowly but surely, she showed her true colors that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt. At first my whole family was taken aback, but grungely got over that fact, and moved on knowing that my brother loved this girl, and we were all going to do what ever it took to support him. After a while, I started noticing a pattern, my brother was still the same loving, funny, guy he always had been…until they were together. It seemed that she had rubbed her personality on to himself, and after a while, you could see the significant new characteristics that he had attained while in this relationship. Even through all of this, and after seeing all of Jenni’s somewhat annoying demeanor, and changing the person who my brother was, I didn’t hate her. Sure it annoyed and pissed the hell out of me, but it was something that I couldn’t change, and wasn’t even worth trying to do so. They were both in love, and being together was the only thing that mattered in their eyes. After all it wasn’t like either of them went out of their way to be rude or impudent, it was who they were now. And of course I didn’t hate my brother, not at all. I just hated who Brian was when he was with Jenni.
As I sat there at the wedding Saturday, watching my brother and his new bride have their first dance, I realized many things in one instant. One: My brother has grown up, and who am I to try to keep him from being with the one person that makes him most happy in life. Two: My brother is a completely different person than he was more than eight years ago. And even though I miss those Saturdays watching football games, playing basketball for hours on end, and him making me laugh so hard I cried, those personal changes he made are permanent, and irreversible. And finally three: as I watched my brother twirl the women in white around and around, and beaming with all the love in his body, I realized, I had no clue what he was thinking, hoping, dreaming. I had no clue who he was any more.
I used to.
I miss that.
Growing up, my brother and I were extremely close. I would be perfectly content just sitting on the couch with him all Saturday watching football games, even though I’ve never been that into the sport, the thing that mattered was that I was spending the day with the person who could make me laugh even when I wanted to cry. Brian always had that sort of reaction on people, happiness always seemed to be bursting out of his ears, and like a highly contagious disease, spread it to whoever was in his reach. He was my idle, my teddy bear, my big brother, my best friend. If I fell asleep on the couch at watching tv at night, he would carry me upstairs and put me in my bed. When I joined a basketball team, he would help me with my free throws, and defense, even though he was three times my size. When my other brother tore the head of off my WNBA Barbie, Brian would put it back on, and glue the neck just in case. When I wanted to learn how to dive, he was my coach. Sometimes I would even tag along on the dates he went on with his multiple high school girlfriends. I didn’t think about how the various girls would accept me, and I didn’t care. I remember being six years old and secretly hoping that his seventeen year old friends would be jealous of me because of the answers I knew, to all the questions they asked. But Brian got older, and so did I. He went off to college, and I got friends of my own. And then he brought her home.
I didn’t mind her at first. However, slowly but surely, she showed her true colors that she wasn’t afraid to flaunt. At first my whole family was taken aback, but grungely got over that fact, and moved on knowing that my brother loved this girl, and we were all going to do what ever it took to support him. After a while, I started noticing a pattern, my brother was still the same loving, funny, guy he always had been…until they were together. It seemed that she had rubbed her personality on to himself, and after a while, you could see the significant new characteristics that he had attained while in this relationship. Even through all of this, and after seeing all of Jenni’s somewhat annoying demeanor, and changing the person who my brother was, I didn’t hate her. Sure it annoyed and pissed the hell out of me, but it was something that I couldn’t change, and wasn’t even worth trying to do so. They were both in love, and being together was the only thing that mattered in their eyes. After all it wasn’t like either of them went out of their way to be rude or impudent, it was who they were now. And of course I didn’t hate my brother, not at all. I just hated who Brian was when he was with Jenni.
As I sat there at the wedding Saturday, watching my brother and his new bride have their first dance, I realized many things in one instant. One: My brother has grown up, and who am I to try to keep him from being with the one person that makes him most happy in life. Two: My brother is a completely different person than he was more than eight years ago. And even though I miss those Saturdays watching football games, playing basketball for hours on end, and him making me laugh so hard I cried, those personal changes he made are permanent, and irreversible. And finally three: as I watched my brother twirl the women in white around and around, and beaming with all the love in his body, I realized, I had no clue what he was thinking, hoping, dreaming. I had no clue who he was any more.
I used to.
I miss that.
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